• Bonus Driver Education:
• ALWAYS LEAVE EARLY FOR SOMETHING MAS IMPORTANTE! The amateur NASCAR drivers and the sleepy teamsters DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR ITINERARY!
• Always whiz before you begin your journey … FULL BLADDER KARMA CREATES TRAFFIC JAMS.  
• Change lanes without using your turn signal … NEVER TELEGRAPH YOUR MOVES MORON!
• NEVER flip off an angry and impotent man who has no reason to live. I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE LAST GUY WHO DID!
•  Remember there are a lot of motorists on Paxel, Prozac, Zanax and/or Zoloft so maybe IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO GO WITH THE FLOW.  

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

• Wouldn’t it be great if the TV ad voice over just said what they meant?
• She’s a prick teaser so NUMB YOUR BALLS WITH OUR ICE COLD BREW!
• IF YOU DON’T COLOR YOUR HAIR YOU DON’T GET LAID … THAT’S A FACT … JACK!
• LOOK AT THE POONTANG YOU’LL SCORE WHEN YOU LEASE THIS OVERPRICED TIN CAN.
•  NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT UNLESS HE DOESN’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!

DOES HIGH SCHOOL EVER END?

• You tell me … it still pays to be cool!
• LAST HIRED, FIRST FIRED …JUST LIKE PICKING TEAMS IN P.E.
• BULLIES / SUPERVISORS…THEY MAKE YOU NERVOUS AND YOU’RE TOO AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
• NERDS, WE IGNORED THEM IN SCHOOL AND NOW THEY IGNORE US FROM THE EXECUTIVE SUITES AND THE WHITE HOUSE!
• BROWN NOSING STILL WORKS…FROM GOOD GRADES TO EVERY PROMOTION!
• CHICKS STILL KEEP LOOKING FOR THE NEXT BIG THING … NEW CLOTHES, NEW CARS, And NEW MARRIAGES!
• MARRIAGE IS ANOTHER PROM … IT COMES DOWN TO WHO’S WILLING!
• DIVORCE IS LIKE GETTING A MELVIN, PANTSED AND STRIPPED NAKED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL!