GRANDMASTER D SKETCH PART 1

ARE RELATIONSHIPS SPORTING EVENTS?

• Men and women relate like sporting events…

• Men are always competing and trying to score
• Whether its touching them all, penetrating the end zone or putting it in the hole…the more the better
• Women are like baseball managers … 
• They have a starting pitcher but there is always one warming up in the bullpen

DO YOU THINK I PICKED THIS ONE OUT?

• I think we need a little more empathy for your less endowed men.
• Be kind to those who drew the short straw …
• Remember ladies the guy didn’t order the wrong part.
• But don’t forget the guy with the derringer knows how to aim!
• And size doesn’t matter … check out who lingers around the locker room naked and who never takes a shower.  
• Wouldn’t it be great if you change the size of your prick?
• Like a Hoover Vacuum cleaner…it comes with different attachments.
• The petite deflowering model … for cherry picking
• The standard model … for your wife …no hassle … just plug and play
• And the Godzilla … to reach the unreachable crevice and increase your locker room swagger. 

SATAN RIDES SHOTGUN…

• Have you notice your mood swings when you’re driving?
• That when you roll down your windows and turn up your favorite tunes and you look around and think DOES ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BITCHIN I AM! 
• That when you are running late …traffic lights begin to sadistically tease and beckon you to COME ON … I DOUBLE DARE YOU … CAN YOU AFFORD IT YOU COWARD?   
• That you bark out orders like a Marine to your fellow commuters AND THEY SCREAM “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
• Have you noticed the female drivers lately:
• See the new cars they’re driving now?  Wonder how they got that new SUV … Remember this success mantra “thanks for the dinner and the movie … can we just be friends?”
• They seem to associate eye contact with insemination. Relax ladies … the worst thing I’ll do is rub one out dreaming of you!